Falling in love is one of the best feelings in the world, but there is another side to that same coin. Falling out of love is scary, and often heartbreaking even when you still have feelings about your partner. A lot of people think that hating or feeling anger towards their partner means they have fallen out of love, but this is wildly inaccurate.
In order to feel such dramatic emotions, you still have to love the other person to a certain extent. Falling out of love also doesn’t mean that you no longer care about a person. We are going to talk more about the truth of falling out of love, what it means for your relationship, and why it happens.
The Truth About Falling Out Of Love
The act or feeling of falling out of love is more common than you think. Sometimes it starts off as a fading feeling of affection or even a gradual road towards indifference. This is a frightening proposition as we start to realize that we may lose our relationship or even a connection with the person that is a part of our relationship.
Is Falling Out Of Love Normal?
Before talking about falling out of love, keep in mind that most reasons for losing emotions for a partner are valid. In general, when a relationship ends it is the best option for one or both parties. Sometimes the loss of affection is caused by a change in lifestyle or even personalities that can cause discord. In other cases, people simply have tastes or ideas that change over time, and what attracted them to a person is no longer part of their world view. It is never a good idea to force yourself to stay in a relationship where you are unhappy, even if neither party committed any offense.
What Causes The Emotional Shift?
Understanding the truth about falling out of love requires a deep look at the reasons for the emotional shift. What are the reasons for losing affection? Can you fall back in love after falling out of it? Is love a long-haul emotion that doesn’t change? According to science, it is possible to maintain lifelong love, but in reality, the perfect conditions for perfect love rarely exist. To do so means that you will have to get rid of certain personal fears and defenses and also avoid many basic trappings of traditional relationships.
Most of us bring a lot of our past to our relationships. That affects how we treat our partner and even how we will feel about our relationship over the long term. As people mature and change, their feelings naturally will change. In most cases, partners grow together, but sometimes they will grow apart during this process. This is when love may start to fade. It is important to think about why your feelings are changing, what makes you think your feelings have changed, and do you want to rekindle the love you have for your partner or let it go.
Why Do People Fall Out of Love?
Lasting love is possible, but it takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice. As humans, there are many things that make it hard for us to remain connected with our feelings of affection. Sometimes past rejections or hurt can cause us to falter when it comes to sustaining positive feelings. Other times the actions of the other individual can trigger a loss of affection. The act of loving and being loved is a direct challenge to our basic mental defense. Humans generally learn from an early age how to adapt to prevent getting hurt, both physically and emotionally.
Most people don’t make an active choice to fall out of love, but in fact, our defenses automatically make those choices for us. For example, if you were raised on neglect, or around cold people, it can be hard to accept or give warmth and affection to a partner. The closer you get to a person or the longer your relationship wears on, the more fears will have an effect on how we interact.
Love triggers a natural feeling of anxiety that can make people feel vulnerable. Some are not able to process these feelings over time and fall out of love as a result. It can also make some experience painful feelings from their past, and as a defense mechanism, the heart stops loving. In other cases being love can cause confusion or crisis of identity. Most people adjust, but some don’t. Most mature adults will analyze and process these feelings to come to a solution, but those solutions do not always mean staying in a long-term relationship or even the current relationship. Basically, falling out of love is normal, what you choose to do about it is a personal choice.
SAGE Counseling Omaha
At SAGE Counseling Omaha, our primary focus is on helping you to get the support and treatment that you need as you move forward. We all experience challenges that are often too difficult to work through on their own, and we are here to support you during these tough times.
When you connect with our compassionate counseling team, you can rest assured that you will receive the individualized care that you need. Contact us today. For approved clients, we are able to utilize telehealth services through our HIPAA compliant virtual software.