A happy marriage can be a fantastic anchor in your life, as well as in the lives of those around you. In a strong marriage, you have the assurance that someone you love will always be there for you, no matter what. You’ve been through thick and thin together, and you know that you’ve got each others’ backs. This is an amazing feeling and one that not enough people truly experience.
That’s why marriage is such a valuable commodity and one that you must hold onto tight if you do have it.
How Do You Determine the Strength of Your Marriage?
Like anything else, this involves hard work and effort. Marriage is something you need to put conscious effort into, just like all good things in life, and that means you need to find ways to monitor and gauge its strength in a realistic fashion.
So, how do you know the Strength of Your Marriage? How do you know if it needs work, or if it’s in a healthy condition already? Read on and let’s take a look at some important measures.
How Happy Are You? (Both)
One of the easiest ways to gauge the success of a marriage is to ask how happy you each are. If you are in a great marriage, then this should bleed over into nearly every other aspect of your life. You should be more confident, you should feel more loved. You should find that you are more relaxed at the end of a long day.
Of course, there are other things that factor into happiness. You might have a strong marriage but be struggling with depression or countless other issues. But while this is true, it’s also true that if you are genuinely happy, chances are that you have at least a somewhat strong marriage!
Strong Apart = Strong Together
A sign of a strong marriage is that you genuinely want to spend time with each other. At the end of a long day, do you actively look forward to relaxing with your partner? When you have free time, do you seek out your other half to find things to do together?
If so, this suggests that you are both genuinely happy in each others’ company, and therefore the relationship is likely very strong! Conversely, if you find that you get much more enjoyment out of spending time with friends than you do from spending time with your partner, this suggests there are at least things that you probably need to work on.
But at the same time, it’s also very important to consider the value of spending time apart – and being able to do this. Just as unhealthy as never spending time together, is never spending time apart. If you don’t spend any time apart, you will have nothing to talk to each other about, and you will become too dependent on one another – to the point that you can end up feeling suffocated.
Not only that, but pursuing something that you are passionate about and skilled in will make you more attractive to your other half. We are attracted to “the other.” When we feel we know someone 100% and are overly familiar with them, that is when we start to feel the spark fade.
The ideal scenario is that you are happy when you are apart, and happy when you are together – even happier!
One of the strongest signs of a healthy marriage is that you are able to communicate.
What happened the last time you had a disagreement or an argument? If you answer that you have never had an argument, then this isn’t necessarily a positive sign. This can actually mean that you aren’t talking through your problems and you aren’t dealing with those emotions. Chances are that there are things each of you are unhappy within your relationship – and chances are that those things are harming your happiness in the long term.
The other problem is if you argued, went into separate rooms, and then stayed apart until the issue blew over. For some couples, this can take days!
Of course, this isn’t a healthy solution as you never resolved the issue: you never saw the other person’s point of view. The key to a long-lasting and healthy relationship is in being able to communicate your issues to one another, to understand one another, and to thereby work to improve the situations that may have led to your initial disagreements.
You Are Improving
If you read through some of these points and felt like your relationship fell short… don’t worry The aim is not to be in a perfect relationship right now: no one is! Rather, the aim is to be in a relationship that you are working to improve. As long as the relationship is getting stronger and not weaker, then you are moving forward. This also shows that both of you are invested enough to want to make the change.
Keep working at it and it will only get better with age.
SAGE Counseling Omaha | Marriage Counseling After an Affair
At SAGE Counseling Omaha, our primary focus is on helping you to get the support and treatment that you need as you move forward. We all experience challenges that are often too difficult to work through on their own, and we are here to support you during these tough times.
When you connect with our compassionate counseling team, you can rest assured that you will receive the individualized care that you need. Contact us today. For approved clients, we are able to utilize telehealth services through our HIPAA compliant virtual software.