When an argument or disagreement emerges in any relationship, it is too easy to think of one person as being the “guilty party” or as being more responsible for the situation. We assume that there are an instigator and a recipient and that once that person sees sense, the disagreement will be resolved.
In reality, disputes will very rarely work like this. More often, arguments in relationships are caused by differing opinions. Here, neither party is “right” or “wrong.” Rather, the two beliefs are completely valid, but they simply are not compatible. This can lead to a standoff, with no obvious resolution that doesn’t involve ending the relationship.
Examples of Emotional Gridlock
A simple example of emotional gridlock might be if one of you wants to have children, but the other does not. Likewise, one of you might have a dream to become a famous singer, while the other might want a quiet life.
In these cases, you might be a compatible, happy, and in-love couple: but this one emotionally charged issue is stopping your relationship dead and causing arguments that have no easy solution.
So what do you do?
How to Overcome Emotional Gridlock
While there is no simple “fix-all” solution to emotional gridlock, there are certain things that each of you can do to try and improve your chances of a positive outcome.
One is to try and more fully understand the dreams, goals, and aspirations you hold. That means understanding your own dreams, but it also means understanding the partners.
Very often, when we examine our dreams and beliefs, we will find that they are driven by fundamental emotions and desires. For example, a dream of becoming a movie star might be driven by a desire for recognition, financial security, or both of the above.
The desire to have children might come from a yearning to give unconditional love.
By better understanding the emotional core values at the center of dreams and ambitions, it is possible to find alternative arrangements and compromises. If nothing else, you will at least be able to understand why your partner feels the way they do, and so perhaps to show them more empathy and understanding.
This will almost always result in some form of compromise. But again, understanding why your dreams are important to you can really help with this. Very often, the things we want are not the things we need. Don’t end a great relationship to chase a ghost.
SAGE Counseling Omaha
At SAGE Counseling Omaha, our primary focus is on helping you to get the support and treatment that you need as you move forward. We all experience challenges that are often too difficult to work through on their own, and we are here to support you during these tough times.
When you connect with our compassionate counseling team, you can rest assured that you will receive the individualized care that you need. Contact us today.